Thursday, October 13, 2005

Cinderella (Address)

Address: What moment do you think this is describing? What does it seem to mean?

Bittersweet solitude -
still and alone
in the moving crowd.
Unnoticed, I stand
with these thoughts
that threaten
to tear me to pieces.
Warmth surrounds me,
but the hole in me
grows larger
and the frigid wind
continues to blow.


Hilachita said...

Hmmmm... Its pretty good, but why is it called Cinderella? You also have almost too many beautiful thoughts crashing into each other - like the warmth and frigid wind, thoughts tearing u to pieces, standing alone in a moving crowd, enjoying solitude.... though each of these ideas are awesomely deep and poetic they seem to kind of be competing to be the center of the poem.

pinkroses said...

Ya, I really have to agree. Mayb eyou should try focusing on one or two of the ideas in this poem, and make another poem about the others so that you're poems really grab the reader and the ideas aren't fighting for control of the poem.

pinkroses said...

I'm slightly confused about what moment that you are talking about. I am also a little confused about why the title is Cinderella. Maybe you could try to clarify it?

Hilachita said...

Hmmm... I would say that the poem is describing a moment in which the narrator finds themselves distraught by some terrible thoughts and quite alone in a large crowd of people

La Maestra said...

I like the title and all it connotes. I get images of a beautiful woman alone in a crowd of people (Cinderella at the ball?), the lonliness that "happily ever after" never recognizes, a sense of isolation and a rising need to change something -- not to take it anymore.

I like the ambiguity of it, and I hope you don't change it. Poetry doesn't have to be obvious and do all the work for the reader, does it? :)