Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Debris (Press)

I see myself floating
on the air's palm
enveloped in still clarity
serene sparkling

The rain is the thought
of shining blue
it hangs and yields
to the motion of the sun

Tears remain inarticulate
in my tranquil quiet
they fall like leaves forgotten
to the dead twig of a smile.


ZameerIsHere said...

It seems a bit pretentious or pedantic or whatever. No offense of course.

La Maestra said...


Can you offer any specific feedback that the poet could use to improve the piece? Dismissing it generally as pretentious or pedantic (two words which mean very different things) isn't very helpful.