Thursday, February 09, 2006

The Bedroom Window (Press)

the earth begins to turn
silently
my stomach churns
slowly
a small crack spreads
through the dirt.

I feel sick and want to go to bed
I stare up at the white sky there above

the rock splits in two
my life bends quietly
with it
the broken pieces lie still
I lie still with them
for awhile.

I fall asleep and dream a blissful life
Awakening to find that all is gone

my chest feels
empty
and I feel fatigued again,
as if by some strange disease
for which there is
no cure.

The rain outside my window falls in splats
and turns all of that cracked dirt into mud

3 comments:

achoo said...

Wow.

Your poems always make me say
wow.

Because they are so good.
I love this one because I can really hear your voice well.

La Maestra said...

Strong, moving images.

"blissful life" seems a little vague/cliched and stands out to me from the stronger images around it. Perhaps a more specific image there?

I wonder about the comma in the fifth stanza and the lack of/use of periods in the couplets and the stanzas. Do you need the punctuation/capitalization at all? Are you trying to make it easy for the reader? Why?

Anonymous said...

another great poem. i like how you convey weakness as an illness, which sometimes seems to be incurable, like you say.