Sunday, January 15, 2006

Summer (Address)

Address: I feel like the ending of this poem is off-topic. Do you agree? Is it distracting? Should I change it, or leave it how it is?
A warm, balmy day.
School's out, and I wander
aimlessly
about the town.
A few cool breezes
pass me by as I
amble slowly with
no particular destination.
I smell spicy spaghetti sauce
mixed with
oily french fries and
hot green chili,
drifting in the wind.
Strangers pass me
and I gaze at their
faces with empty eyes.
I'm walking to nowhere
down the two-laned road,
not really noticing where I am.
I hear voices shouting,
Spanish, English, a mix of both.
Time passes slowly,
then faster, as the scents
change and I stop walking
as I look out across
the street at the stoplights
blinking yellow, green and red
as lines of cars, gleaming
in the sunlight
stop
and then start again.
The crosswalk light flashes
"WALK"
and I cross the street to my house,
run up the slightly crooked front steps and
shut the heavy wooden door against the
afternoon heat.

1 comment:

Hilachita said...

Ya, I think the ending is seperate from the aimless, empty, apathetically themed beginning majority of the poem. Very nice imagery, and you communicate your ideas well