Monday, November 28, 2005

I Need a Vacation (press)

I let go
I led myself on
into an emotional trap that
is almost impossible to break free
I convinced myself
that I felt something false
and then I amplified that feeling
made it more
so big, and so fake
that it became real
seemingly impossible
yet true
then I made it seem ok
I embroidered it into my life
made it normal, inserted it into my routine
even made it a part of me
I drowned in it
and enjoyed every minute of the intense pain
it was truly giving me
I was secure in it's falsehood
and then
someone threatened to take it away
how
can you take something that is fabricated into me
but it's false
so I tried to break it
and ended up breaking
a little piece of
myself.
And now I am descending
into an endless abyss
of temporary insanity
but it's ok because
I will recover and maybe someday soon
I can be myself
truly myself again

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