Thursday, November 10, 2005

Blades (address, and press)

Achoo's back! But not at full force...I'm doing what I call "poetic physical therapy" to try and recover my poetic voice so I can successfully, and finally finish the long-awaited conclusion of the Crimson Room.
So my question is, what do you think this is about? And, is the repetition (notice the 3 line stanzas and use of pronouns as well as the first and last stanza) kind of choppy or does it help the poem maintain a central idea and consistency?


Blades

It's cold
but just enough
to soothe my soul

It's my release
from life
and every responsibility

It's my therapy
it calms my mind
and repairs my heart

It's my dream
my desires are evident
and couldn't be clearer

It's my passion
there's nothing I feel
better about doing

It's my guilty pleasure
I shouldn't be so
concentrated but I am

It's my inner tranquility
It's the only way
that I can be at peace

It's my drive
I have to force myself
to try it all at least once

It's my groundedness
nothing can ever be
that bad

It's cold though
but just cold enough
to soothe my soul

1 comment:

Hilachita said...

Very nice! In response to your address, I would say that it is perhaps a little choppy, but not because of the repitition of the beginning of each stanza, but more because the end of a couple could better lead into the next. I really like it though! I'd give you a 4 for ideas and content!! ;)