Friday, October 14, 2005

Falling Apart (bless)

Back splitting,
Arm torn off
falling apart, to hard.

Need space,
Time to think
falling apart, need help.

Freaking out,
No space, no time
falling and drifting away.

Hard faces,
Mean, jealous parents
falling, asking and wanting

Arm tired,
Time to heal
falling apart, to hard


esperanza said...

I really like that! It perfectly expresses the emotions of an overwhelmed student - I know the feeling. It's nice how you get to the point and convey the meaning without excessive words.

La Maestra said...

I like how you bring back the refrain of the opening stanza again at the end.

I also like the images of the arm, and time passing.

pinkroses said...

It does express well the frustration of being a student and the descriptions are awesome. The point comes across clear and I love the repeat of the beginning lines! It really makes the poem sweet! lol. :D